It’s strange; I always thought I was just one of those people who loves to care for other people. Someone who thrives by being selfless. Someone willing to put the needs of others before her own. But now I realize, I am just afraid of abandonment. I want to be perfect; I want to feel irreplaceable.


It’s pathetic, really. And it’s difficult to navigate difficult social situations. I put others before myself, and immediately feel cheated.  I even find it difficult to be honest on my own blog because I want to offer what I think people want from me. I want to be someone you would actually want to know. Not someone you’d avoid and pity.


People-pleasing has become a part of my character now, and I have such little sense of self. What do I even like? What am I passionate about? What is important to me? I don’t even know most of the time. I should really get a job in Hospitality. At least I would get paid to cater to the needs of people who wouldn’t cater to mine. 


3 thoughts on “Hospitality

  1. Pingback: Guest Post at The Nudge Wink Report – This Week’s Major News Headlines In Musical Numbers (Thanks Eurovision!) | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

  2. Reblogged this on Zawmb'yee Nuje and commented:
    [Very insightful. Let’s hope that while you’re in the midst of pleasing people that one of them will suddenly turn, take an interest in you, and say, ‘Thank you very much, but how are YOU today and tell me about your dream…’. Perhaps some day you’ll find a true collaborator who is symbiotic…]

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wouldn’t that be nice? Haha. That is part of the reason I chose to create a blog: to find/build a community of emotional support and creative expression!


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